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Sorry, This Is So Long... I wrote this great little description about myself and what I was looking for and you know what happened? My computer restarted before I had the chance to save it. Now all the words are gone from my head and I don't know how to start over again ha-ha. I'm the kind of person who is always taking care of everyone else but myself. I'm very understanding and do my best to never judge anyone. I may have some local older ladies searching casual encounter latex personals old fashioned standards (I won't live with a man outside of marriage, don't do or smoke, not 420 friendly, don't sleep around, don't curse in front of , ect.) but I never hold anyone else to them. They're for me. I'm the kind of friend you can in the middle of the night and you know they'll come to where ever you are and take care of you in whatever pinch you're in. (might have to a few times to wake me up but I'll get there! Ha-ha) I'm loyal, faithful and a good listener (I'm not a dog I promise) As you might already be able to tell, I'm also one for making fun of myself. I have no problem laughing at myself and I'm sarcastic and tease and joke all the time, while still being responsible and respectful of those around me. I'm not outgoing and bubbly and always happy. I'm human, so me for being down or getting mad sometimes. I have a quick temper but it also fades quickly too. I do enjoy life when I get to live it, I like to go places and see and do things. I'm mostly a homebody due to life circumstances, but I do love to go camping and go into one of the big cities for a day or weekend trip. I love theme parks, maybe it's childish, but is my favorite place. I love to go to the coast and Las Vegas is a blast! Love concerts and shows. Since I love to laugh of course I like comedy. I'm a music lover, movie buff, book worm, occasional gamer, photographer, artsy, fixer-upper, do it yourself-er, who likes to cook and bake and plan a party or decorate a room. I'm not sporty but I grew up with a family full of sports fans, I know my sports and teams ha-ha. Okay so that was a lot! Should give you a bit of an idea, what I am like (I know what you're thinking... Long Winded!) I won't tell you what you should be like, because I don't know you do I? And you're always someone different, someone I wasn't expecting... you might not be expecting me either. I honestly think people are too caught up in their ideas of what they want to actually find what they need and that's why it's so hard to find love and friendship. I will tell you that I want friendship first. I'm not looking to date around or sleep around. I would like to talk at least a couple weeks before we even talk about meeting in person. And I mean talk, not just a minute check in every day or two. I want to have actual conversations and learn things about each other. I'm not in a to find out if there is a connection and will we be together forever. Everyone wants an instant relationship and maybe that works out occasionally but usually it doesn't. You need to be able to listen to each other and like each other as human beings first. To be friends and then work your way up from there if things go well. If not, what's the in another friend? I'm not going to give you my number right away and you might as well wait to ask for my till we've spoken at least days. I want us to actually like talking to each other and not base it on attraction. If you can't deal with these things then don't me thinking you'll be the guy to convince me otherwise and get special , you won't I'm sorry. (forgot to mention I'm too ha-ha!) I will tell you I'm not ugly but I'm not beautiful or hot (least not in my opinion) I'm not high maintenance but not really easy going. My life isn't drama free but it's not a soap either. I'm human. I'm just me. This is just my life and if you have high expectations for Ms. Perfect. I'm not her. So if I don't sound too impossible or crazy and you still want to get to know me better and let me get to know you, message me.

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I'm curious, what did you glean from your sojourns with the psychiatrists? Something you said struck me odd that you seem devoid of anger. We are creatures of emotions and anger has it place in us. passive types are like that because they can not use anger, it is rechanneled in another form, sometimes less constructive because of its hidden nature. She have been the other type that is more visible with their emotions. You sometimes have to find out which type they are and to try to speak in their way of communicating. Hard to this when you are in the fish bowl and your form of communicating is different. Over time a lot of miscommunication builds up and frustrations build up. What little I know of the healing process is that anger is a component of the healing process. Your own healing process have never completed itself and has been stifled. Anger can not be judged as rational or irrational, not bad or good, it is just part of our nature. It is how we react and act upon this emotion that is deemed good or bad not the emotion itself. Maybe you need something like the reverse of anger management. Also when you say you swallow the advise is not a normal reaction. One should definitely listen, but then seriously consider what is said and look deep and honestly (hard to do -sometimes takes a period of digestion so to speak) before accepting, rejecting, or partially accepting and rejecting that which is true or untrue in your case. Funny that it was just on the news about a 17 year study, I believe it came to the conclusion that auguments (- constructive ones) are good for a marriage and its partners. I don't know you but could it be something the psychiatrists touched on? don't take it personal, I don't know you but we betray ourselves in so ways as they say the mind body connection is a reality. Just an observation which could be totally wrong. The other posters had excellent suggestions. I wish you well.