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- Livermore Laboratories has made a startling discovery in finding the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,88 deputy neutrons, and assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of. These particles are held together by forces ed morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles ed peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass actually increase over time, since each reorganization cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass deposits. The location of Governmentium deposits is found in every state capital, with a mother lode in Washington DC. When catalyzed with tax money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as peons, but twice as morons.
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