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Boo... Oh Boo, I miss it all so much. I miss your smell that I still sometimes find lingering on old clothes of yours I have. I miss the way my head would lay perfect against your chest so I could hear your heart speeding up for me and you would lay your head on top of my own. I miss sleeping on top of you, feeling as if we'd been asleep for days once we woke. I miss it all but yet, a big part of me is glad that you found someone who loves you and who you can love in return. I don't pine for you and I have tried dating other people. Turns out the one I chose to give myself to was completely abusive. You know me, what the right? Opened my eyes to a lot which I guess is the important part. Part of me hopes we will find one another again someday, if even to just be friends but the rational part of me says that other kind, affectionate men exist and one will find me. I want you to know that (and even though I've said it before) I am so sorry for the misery I caused for us both and my lack of being aware to it all. All of our good memories are so special to me; more so because I can now look back on my life and re a time when I was hugged and the person undeniably, unconditionally loved me for me. You loved that person you could see and I swear on your life, I truly did my best at the time to open up to you and fix myself so I could love you back just as much. Birthday is in a few days and I guess maybe that's where all this is coming from. I loved the birthdays we had together, even though I fought so hard against you. I was terrified of loving you but I should have given in because someone else has one of the most amazing people I've ever known at her side. Well, I guess I'll post this in a few cities because 1.) you've moved now but all our memories are back in the 2.) old city and I'm no longer in the 3.) city I was in and now I'm 3.) back where we tried to make it work the first time I ran away. Look for them or maybe they shall never reach you. Sometimes, I still think you can hear my thoughts and every so often, you come to see if I'm okay so I won't worry about you not ever reading this. ~Such Frailty; Smoking with a PBR~ ( how I love weed and cheap beer now huh? Oh, and being a homebody. Ha!)

oh my a game I ll def be watching... tasty bites and wine. yes please. now a manly presence would be awesome. bad boy typ.geek. sporty-ish. nerdy student with large framed glasses? ok. just be clean. I am taking end of autum vacations. so I am not working tomorrow. could ride you all night ah ah ah your get mine

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