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"one day i got angry at her and lashed out yelling" she, probably, asked you to stop yelling, before throwing things, right? And you, probably, disregarded that, right?.. Here is something you might want to know: for some people (because of certain childhood experiences) when someone lashes out yelling at them, their psyche perceives it as a physical attack/prelude to physical attack. Basiy, she felt attacked, and fought back. It holds especially true, if the person doing the yelling is physiy stronger than the person who has this reaction. Another exasperating attribute is when the yelling is sudden when the voice is not being escalated for a period of time, but takes by surprise .It looks like your gf suffers from that condition. It is not really treatable, it stems from early childhood, and the only thing you can do if you want to live with her, is to NEVER lash out and yell at her. Always be calm and talk things out (which is what most responsible balanced people do, anyway). People who do have a tendency to lash out yelling, though, might not be easily rewired to not do that maybe that's how they grew up, so they don't notice it, much less think it's equivalent of physical attack. FOR HER IT WAS but, on the other hand, why should it be your problem?.. So, my advice to you is to move out, unless you want to do a whole bunch of work ON YOURSELF to never lash out and to never "press her buttons". If I understand correctly where she is coming from, it is really damaging for her to be yelled at, so you are doing her no favors by staying in this relationship. It is in no way your fault that she is like that in families a dose of yelling is the norm, as it probably was in yours. You two are no match, though, she needs someone who would support her and build up her self-esteen, rather than resurrect her childhood nightmares (and I would not ask her about them, she might not want to remember), as you need someone who is healthier and more resilient emotionally, because you seem to not be built for the role I just described.
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