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I have forgiven my exwife we are on good terms and I always her. I don't want to ever be with her..but that's irrelevant. While Whirly was dead on I have something to add. You know what jumped out at me in your post? "Even though I knew he wasn't sexually satisfied, I thought he respected me and was a of his word; a with honor" That is pure horseshit. You wanted him to respect and honor you when you weren't holding up your end. There are more vows than till death do you part and forsaking all others. You want to be able to forgive him? Step off your platform, you aren't above anyone because you didn't cheat. We are human beings and as such we are imperfect. YOU INCLUDED and I'm not talking about your weight. Take a good look in the mirror. There's a depressed, admittedly overweight person and he's NOT responsible for that. YOU ARE. He is responsible for what he did. He is not responsible for your reaction. I don't know what your counselors have been telling you but if this hasn't been drummed into your they aren't very good. I know that sounds incredibly harsh and judgmental..it's not. Its the truth. It was something that helped me free myself. Letting go of the infidelity and looking only at my role in the death of our marriage. Looking at each missed opportunity to maybe turn the corner, each chip I made in the foundation of our relationship taking FULL credit for it and apologizing. First to myself..then to my ex. That's right I actually apologized to her. The first thing you need to do is to start treating yourself with the respect and you say you want from him. That means knocking off this uncontrolled weight gain and taking responsibility for you. Not him, not your marriage, you. It is NOT his job to fill that void. Its an impossible task and you'll never forgive him. It starts and ends with you. Forgiveness isn't earned..its given and its a choice. Up to you to decide if you want to.

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